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Sunday, December 26, 2010

TRUTH by Carla Hayes

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This anxiety whittles at my stomach like an ever carving knife...
Has been with me since childhood midst that old tensionating strife...
A history book of happenings that springs before my eyes...
A thousand episodes of hurtful things, of punishment, of lies...
It wakes me every morning and moments in between...
It haunts me like a stalker when my body tries to sleep...
I see it in my son as he copes to strive with stress...
This companion, anxiety...this churning, burning mess...
It screams to me of misdeeds and things I never did...
It mocks me for shortcomings I thought I had well-hid...
It taunts me for the people who thought I meant them harm...
It never asks for truthfulness about the 'me' they thought as wrong...
It pleasures in its meanness...It is a living, breathing thing...
It plagues me and it hurts me...It has a dragon's wings...
I pray against my weakness...I pray against the storm...
I pray for Father's help with this, this nauseating worm...
I pray for understanding, both mine and God's above...
I pray for help to heal me through God's outpouring love...
Post traumatic stress disorder, depression and this angst...
Rise up to fight against me...Can others understand?
I fight an inner demon that tears me to the core...
I think I have it conquered, then it returns for more...
A look of criticism, a mocking from without...
An abandonment, betrayal of trust, or my own painful self-doubt...
All stir up the inner darkness...it comes quite unannounced...
Contrary on its onset...consistent in its pounce...
How deeply people hurt me by the things they have to say...
When they coldly misjudge me or treat me in demeaning ways...
I've tried to develop a thick-skin for without and for within...
But callouses elude me, leaving me...this condition I am in...
So praying I go onward...midst Life's unyielding thorns...
And try to believe in God and me...midst haughtiness, amidst scorns...
I know there is a healing...a merciful, compassionate balm...
That comes when God gently wraps me in His all-knowing arms...
I know that He believes in me despite what others think...
And I know He's here unconditionally when in despair I sink...
This is what has kept me alive midst hurt, loss and cutting pain:
Being in God's sheltering arms...again...again...again...
The loyalty of my dear son and many unwavering friends...
Our Father, beauty of Earth, endurance...on these i can depend...
And the Gift of God's Compassion, descended from above...
The blessing most truly healing?
  The sweet and true reality of Love.

Friday, December 24, 2010

LATE NIGHT REVERY


A special treat, laptop on desk, left by loved one, beckons me...
Calls me out of fitful slumber for a late night revery...
I listen to the quiet, an occasional car a'passing by...
The clicking of the furnace-- small, still sounds of the night...
My pet, dear  Silka, white Eskimo dog, stretches in her sleep...
I love the time she gives me; her companionship so deep...
Her little life a'breathing is truly such a gift...
Her trusting tenderness lends my soul a loving, consistent lift..
I think about my neighbors, the new friendships we have made...
I think of finding this safe place, this quiet, loving shade...
A tiny, warm-filled home...this cottage I have found...
Filled to the brim with furniture, needing decorating all around...
Oh, I have lots of boxes, books, my son's fun childhood toys...
A'stacked and a'cluttering; full of memory's loving noise...
Into this new life I am accepted, given room just to breathe...
To step to my own cadence: poetic, deep and free...
No one to criticize me, fix or blame me, just unconditional love...
A balm for what I've passed through; a gift from God above...
The past is left behind me out in the heartbreak hue...
The present possibilities come gently into view...
"Here" is where I've come to, working "through" as best I can...
Grateful to be surrounded by Souls who understand...
I think about the writing group, the wonderful weave of words...
The poet's life is written in a traveler's journey-filled world...
Recently, Love brought healing, new songs for a soul to sing,
Renewal of strength and stillness' calm, as I re-grow my wings...
Yes, it's a quiet night within one life, angels descend to bless...
As I find this rhyme, I know it's Heaven who brings about such bliss...
A simple song, a hymn of sorts, this late night thinking list...
A humble sort of thankfulness for God's sweet gift of Rest...
My heart's gratitude is deep and full for quiet's Tranquility...
This haven of  peace and mindfulness, this late night revery...

Thursday, December 2, 2010

JASMINE'S FIRST POEM



This is my kitty Emily.

She is very small.
She is also very tall.

She is very neat.
She is also very sweet.

I love her with all my heart.
She is very very smart.